Woodbane: Children of Angels and Demons
by Emariana
Summary: Alec and Magnus are finally together, happily living in their own world, trying to start their lives together. They had imagined getting married, traveling, settling down, and adopting, in that order. But fate and magic have a different plan for these lovers... Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments, the Infernal Devices, the Bane Chronicles, or any these characters!
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue**_

_"__Alec..." Magnus sighed contentedly, running his fingers over his lover's chest. The warlock marveled at the beauty of the younger man's skin, how it seemed to sparkle in the moonlight—though in a way that was completely unlike any vampires in the dreams of ridiculous fangirls. No, Alec's skin was a kind of quiet beauty, punctuated, no, adorned by the scars of former marks. Magnus loved looking at them, the stories of battles in his lover's young life. He'd seen so many that sometimes Magnus forgot how young he really was, barely two decades; Magnus always thought of his as his equal._

_ "__Are you going to keep staring, or will you take me some time in this century?' Alec smirked up at the warlock, his own fingers teasing the other man's skin, dancing around the waistband of his briefs. Magnus leaned back a little, appearing to consider it._

_ "__This century's still young, you know. I've got time. I'm a patient man…" Alec's hand slipped underneath the cloth to where the warlock's member was already hard. _

_"__On second thought…"_

**Chapter One: It Started One Morning**

Alec looked at the cherry wood kitchen table, lost in thought. He was tired, of course, it was pretty early, and Magnus had seen to it that he hadn't gotten much sleep last night. And then he'd woken up with the warlock when an urgent all had come through from a client, and for some reason, Magnus had taking the situation uncharacteristically seriously, even at 3:17 a.m. This both surprised and worried Alec, which is why he was now sitting, half dressed in just pajama bottoms, at the kitchen table, falling asleep over a quickly-cooling cup of coffee.

Alec glanced at the clock on his phone. 5:58. More than two and a half hours Magnus had been gone…

The shadowhunter shook his head. His own demon-hunting missions frequently took that long, so why was he watching the clock? Surely an emergency that actually concerned the High Warlock of Brooklyn would take a few hours, and anyway, Magnus had quite a few years of experience. He could handle himself, as he had told Alec when the younger man had insisted on getting up with him. "Go back to sleep," he'd said. "This could take a while." But he wouldn't say what "this" was, no matter how many times Alec had asked.

He took a sip out of the blue ceramic mug and winced. It was completely cold, but it was still better java than he'd get at the institute. Maryse was gone to Alicante, and somehow Isabelle even managed to screw up coffee. Alec stood up and trudged over to the microwave, carefully setting his mug inside and pressing the reheat button. He glanced out the window at the pre-dawn sky, and yawned. The late June weather was making it hot already, the city getting its usual summer stickiness. Alec was glad he was inside the cool apartment.

Just as his coffee finished with an annoying beep, Alec got a text from Izzy:  
_demon Pandemonium, b there in 10._

Alec sighed and downed the rest of the coffee as he heading into the bedroom for his gear. This would wake him up.

The demon turned out to be four demons, all attracted to the excess human energy at the club from a few hours before. As Alec fought the last demon, he tripped and rolled in some ichor before executing the last upward stab. This one sprayed even more ichor all over his filthy gear, and Alec groaned inwardly. He would really have to do laundry when he got back to Magnus'. He stood up as the demon collapsed and started to shrink and disappear, gasping for breath. Feeling a little off-center, he turned to Isabelle, who was giving him a slightly concerned look.

"What?"

Izzy's face changed to a smirk. Lost your balance there. Trip over the invisible demon corpse?"

"Shut up, Isabelle." Alec glared at her with cold blue eyes.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder, her own gear immaculately free of dirt or ichor, as always, and looked at her nails. "Oh relax, I'm only joking. Pick up your stele so we can get away from that ichor smell, god, you reek—"

But Alec didn't catch the rest. At the mention of the smell, his stomach had flipped and contracted sickeningly; he turned and stumbled over to an alleyway garbage can, ripped the lid off, and vomited, gripping the rim as he shook with each retch. He'd just had a few bites of bagel to supplement his coffee, but his stomach rebelled against him violently. After about a minute, he let go and sank to the ground, shaking slightly with adrenaline. Eyes closed, the pale skin of the shadowhunter seemed washed out next to his black hair and gear, his mouth a thin line of pressed lips.

Isabelle had been watching, her own mouth covered by her hands. She hesitated, then softly, "Alec?"

"I'm fine," came an equally quiet, somewhat hoarse reply. Izzy swallowed before trying again.

"Are you sure? Have you been feeling sick the whole time/. What did you eat at Magnus'? He didn't feed you some weird exotic warlock stew, did—?"

"I'm fine, Isabelle." Alec's eyes snapped open and he started to get up, brushing off his sister's movements to help him. "Probably just breathed in too many demon fumes or something. I feel better now. Really," he added, seeing Isabelle open her mouth to protest. "I'm just going to go back to Magnus' and wash off. Don't worry about it. And don't," he paused, "don't tell mom. I'm fine."

Isabelle frowned, but conceded. "Fine. But I'm walking you home. Or mom_ and _Jace hear about this."

Alec shook his head and started walking. "Fine."

Izzy didn't come in. Alec managed to get rid of her at the door, before she could tell Magnus what happened. He watched her go, trying not to focus on the smell of his clothes. He had been telling the truth when he said he felt better, but he still didn't want to take any chances. Alec walked up the stairs where it found the main door to Magnus' apartment unlocked; so he was home.

"You reek." The centuries old warlock didn't open his eyes from where he was draped across the couch, boots still on, silky shirt untucked and unbuttoned. Alec looked away from his lover's chest and grunted softly, not opening his mouth, lest Magnus smell something else.

Instead, Alec ducked in to the bathroom where he turned on a hot shower and brushed his teeth, trying to be quick but thorough before stepping under the water. Unlike his boyfriend, Alec really wasn't one for soaking in long showers with grapefruit scrub. He typically got in, washed off, got out, looking at his body as little as possible as he went. It wasn't that he hated his body, but he'd spent so many years trying to be unnoticeable so people would realize he was gay that he wasn't in the habit of noticing himself. And then, Magnus noticed him out of everyone else, and it was both a shock and pleasant surprise.

Alec grabbed a bar of soap and started scrubbing his hair and body. The hot water streamed down his chest and back and he shuddered, suddenly realizing how good the water felt on his tired muscles. He couldn't remember ever feeling so tired after a demon-slaying… Okay, maybe that time a few summers ago when they'd fought that Greater Demon in Clary's old house. Alec had eventually passed out, only coming to after Magnus worked his magic—literally. The shadowhunter smiled as he recalled how Magnus had been the first thing he saw when he woke up in the sick wing. It was that day that Alec decided he wanted Magnus to be the first thing he saw every time he opened his eyes.

Alec shook his head, feeling a little dizzy, and turned off the water. Grabbing the towel rack to steady himself, he stepped out of the shower and started to dry off, his mind wandering to the warlock in the living room, all his thoughts of being sick totally pushed out of his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Visible Marks**

That wasn't the only day Alec was sick, though. For the next two weeks, his stomach was in a constant battle against nausea, and mostly it was losing, especially in the early mornings. Some days he was fine, but others were horrible. This morning was the worst yet. He tried to hide it from Magnus, hurrying as quietly as he could into the bathroom to vomit up what little he had in his stomach, then half-heartedly brushing his teeth before stumbling back in to bed.

The sun had just started to rise, early as it was mid-July, and a strip of light peaked in through the drapes when Alec woke up and felt the familiar punch in the gut. He threw back his covers and stumbled out of the room, barely having time to close the bathroom door and turn on the faucet as white noise before retching into the toilet.

Magnus rolled over towards the hallway, one greenish eye peaking open. Alec was polite, but Magnus was a light sleeper… and had catlike hearing to match his eyes. He gracefully got out of bed, his black hair a spiky mess, and padded down the hall, opening the bathroom door with a soft knock. Magnus frowned as he saw his boyfriend nearly dive into the porcelain bowl, his limp black hair stuck to his face and neck with the same sick swear that chilled his back, his normally slender body even skinnier these days. Currently it was also shaking in the oversized pajamas as Alec retched, again and again.

Magnus ran a washrag under some cool water and bent down to blot his lover's neck, but Alec batted him away. "I'm fine," he hissed, eyes closed. "It's nothing."

The warlock straightened, sighing, then crouched down as Alec's eyes popped back open and he vomited again. Magnus saw with a pang to his heart that there were tears of pain and exhaustion in the shadowhunter's eyes. He waited, twisting the washrag worriedly, for Alec's body to realize there was nothing left. Finally the younger man leaned back, still shivering. Magnus conjured a glass of water and handed it to Alec, who took it gratefully.

"Alec," the warlock murmured, hesitantly. "it's been 'nothing' for two weeks now. Yes, I know you've been sick. My ears may not be cat-shaped but they're just as good. Take a sip," he paused. Alec drank a little water and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. "I know humans get the flu sometimes, but this is really starting to worry me, Alexander. Can't you use an _iratze_?"

Alec's eyes opened again with surprise. "An _iratze_," he repeated. He'd been so sick and exhausted, and so focused on hiding that he was sick and exhausted, that it hadn't even occurred to him to try the healing rune. He didn't know if it would work for illnesses, as they usually used it for injuries. In fact, the last time he'd been sick, he was too young to be marked anyway. "Yeah, I can try that."

Alec made to get up and wobbled a little, letting Magnus steady him and lead him back into their bedroom. The shadowhunter was always a bit off-kilter after getting sick. Magnus flicked on a light and helped him onto the bed, handing the younger man his stele before turning to pick up a sleeping Chairman Meow.

Alec yanked his too-big pajamas shirt over his head and picked up the stele, leaning back to lie against a pillow (out of exhaustion, laying down had nothing to do with marking). He started to silently scan his torso for a good place for a rune. They were stronger the closer they were to the heart, and maybe since it was nausea he should try his—

Alec sucked in his breath and dropped his stele on the floor, his eyes fixed on his body._ What in the name of the Angel was happening to him?_ Magnus looked up at the sound of the dropped tool, a purring cat in his arms. "Alec? What is it? What…. Are you going to be si—"

"Magnus." Alec breathed out this word, a stupefied expression on his face. "_Look._"

Magnus followed the line of his lover's eyes. "I don't see anything Alec, what…" And just then, Alec pointed to his abdomen, right below his navel, and the warlock saw. Right below his below his navel, on his otherwise flat, almost-too-thin stomach, was a small, gentle swelling.

Magnus thought, _Well that's new._

Magnus thought, _Bellybuttons are very weird._

Magnus thought,_ My mouth is dry and my vision is blurry._

Magnus said, "I need to sit down."

"Magnus!" Alec snapped, blue eyes flashing up at his warlock lover. Magnus was brought back to attention simply by staring in to those eyes, and he reached out to steady himself against the bed post. "Magnus," Alec took a shuddery breath and tried again. "Magnus, what's happening to me?" the shadowhunter whispered propping himself up on his elbow, one hand hovering over his stomach. "I look… I'm not…"

Magnus Bane knelt by the bed, refocusing his eyes on his lover's abdomen. Clearly Alec was thinking the same thing as he was. Looking at it closely, neither of them could see how they had missed it: the roundness of the swelling stretched farther than it appeared, so apparently it had been mistaken as Alec's stomach; he had actually lost more weight than they'd thought. Magnus imagined that without the swelling, his lover's stomach would actually be concave instead of its usual flat.

"Magnus, please," Alec's tone was pleading, and Magnus looked back to his lover's face. The younger man looked sick, exhausted, confused, desperate... And Magnus wanted to badly to have the answers, to sooth his fears and erase his troubles. The warlock was used to having the knowledge, having the answers, being able to fix things, to snap his fingers and make it all go away—

_Go away?_ The warlock mentally paused. If this was what he thought it was, did Magnus really want it to go away? And more importantly… did Alec?

"Alec, my darling. I don't know. I truly don't know what is going on. But I promise you… I will find out, and I will fix it." Magnus brushed his lover's hair away from his eyes, his jaw set with determination.

"It looks like I'm…. Could I be…. Is it possible? I'm a _man_, Magnus. After a few centuries, you should know that human males don't have…." Alec swallowed, looking green again. "Did you do this?!"

Magnus' eyes widened, a hurt look thrown over his face. "No," he whispered. "I can't believe you think I would do that. I don't know this happened, but I would never… I could never do something to you without your consent." He spoke in low tones, his bright eyes staring in to his lover's with urgency and sincerity. "Whatever it happened was an accident…. I didn't plan this, Alec."

"I thought warlocks were sterile!" Alec sat up, glaring at Magnus as though he'd been betrayed. Magnus raised his hands and rocked back on his heels.

"Look, most of us are. A friend of mine who was half-warlock, half-shadowhunter was able to have children, but it was really complicated, she was more like a warlock-shadowhunter, and her mother had never been marked, and she had this pendant, which was really the Angel Ithuriel, and—" Magnus ran a hand through his long hair, unable to say anything else. He wanted to say it was impossible, but clearly, it was possible.

"So it's possible," Alec echoed his lover's thought, looking down at the now un-seeable swell of his stomach. "I mean, we talked about adopting…. But I never…. It never occurred to me…" he trailed off, his face suddenly blank, void of any emotion. Magnus hated these moments, when Alec retreated within himself, when the older man couldn't decipher how his young lover felt…

"Alec?" Magnus whispered, reaching out to place a hand on his arm. Alec shrugged it off, closing his eyes. The younger man sat perfect still for a minute before lying down, turning away from the warlock.

"Leave me alone."

_{Special thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I was so flattered to receive your comments and subscriptions. This is my first-ever fanfiction and I was incredibly nervous to share this! So please, review, and give me your thoughts and suggestions! The plot is still fuzzy, and I'm in college, so be easy on me about the frequency of updates!. :) Thanks again, and I hope you all enjoy. XO Em}_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Silent Questions**

Alec lay in bed, curled up on himself, careful not to touch his abdomen. He was exhausted; so exhausted that everything had taken a surreal edge. He would not let himself think about what had just happened. Had it even happened? Was any of this real? Could it be? He suddenly realized he hurt from where his fingers had been clinging to his arms in desperation. The shadowhunter flexed his hands, stiff from the chilly air of the apartment. Usually it was warm enough in their bedroom that they barely needed blankets, but now it was cold.

It was probably just because he was sick, but he felt underweight and bloated all at the same time. His stomach… Why was it bigger? It couldn't possibly be that he was… No. It was all a mistake. This was ridiculous. Alec's arms and legs suddenly flared with anger—anger at his own stupidity, and Magnus', too. Ridiculous. It must be something else.

This couldn't be real.

Outside the bedroom, Magnus had made it as far as the hallway before sinking down, the weight and absurdity of the situation finally catching up to him. In all his years, he could hardly remember ever feeling so out of control. How could this have happened? _What_ could have happened?

The last question made him shake his head softly. Yes, Alec looked it… but could it really be true? No. How could it? Men didn't bear children—they didn't have the organs or tubing or any of that. Men. Didn't. And Alec was most _definitely_ a man. Magnus shook his head again, exasperated with himself. They were both so worked up over something that was _not possible_—and Magnus knew the limits of the word "possible".

The warlock let out a sigh of relief and stood up. They were being ridiculous, he knew that now. But that still meant his darling Alec was sick… and he had that… lump… in his abdomen. Hopefully it was just the lighting or his weight loss… Magnus ran his fingers through his hair-still messy and un-styled, despite how long he'd been awake—and conjured a latte on his way to the kitchen. He had some phone calls to make.

/"So, tell me his symptoms again?"/ Magnus winced. Even though he had mostly convinced himself that it wasn't true, he had to admit that thinking about the symptoms and the… swelling… made his faith falter… But if anyone could help them, it was Catarina.

"He's had nausea and vomiting for a few weeks, and he's been exhausted. And dizzy, I think. He's quiet about it," he paused, glaring at the Chairman, who was busy pawing at his pants leg for food. The warlock wasn't sure what else to say, but he felt that Catarina might be annoyed by a call—on her day off, no less—about a simple flu, so he found himself blurting out—"and he has this small lump in his abdomen, even though he's lost weight."

Magnus suddenly heard the bedroom door open, then close. He shut his eyes; he'd spoken louder than he meant to, and clearly Alec had heard him. The Angel only knew if Magnus would pay for that later, or whether the shadowhunter would agree to see someone about his symptoms. On the other end of the phone, Catarina was quiet. Magnus felt his impatience and exhaustion.

"Well?" he pressed.

/"I think you need to feed your cat."/ Catarina shot back. /"I'll be over in half an hour."/

True to her word, as always (except in card games), Catarina was knocking on Magnus' door precisely thirty minutes later, a large metal box with a handle in one hand and a smaller bag in the other. Her white hair, messily pulled in to a bun, still shined blindingly in the July sun, deeply contrasting with her dark blue skin. Magnus pulled her into the stairway quickly, nearly spilling his coffee as they filled the small space.

"Did anyone see you?" The male warlock peered out the small window in the door, his voice hushed.

"Yes, it's nice to see you again, too." The slender woman shot her friend a smirk and straightened up. "No one saw me. Relax, Magnus. It's not like the Peruvian government has made the trip or anything." Her blue eyes searched his, at once softening and taking on the compassionate, calming expression she used as a nurse. "No one knows I'm here or what I've brought. No one will know but us. And pretty soon, we're also going to know what is wrong with your Alec, so take a deep breath and lead the way."

Magnus hesitated, glancing up the stairs to the closed front door. "It's just," he began, then swallowed and shook his head. "Never mind. You'll see. He's just really upset and I don't want to freak him out any more. He's so exhausted…"

Alec having been coaxed out of the bathroom where he was hiding (sulking), introductions having been made ("You called mundane doctors?! You TOLD her?!"), Alec having been re-coaxed, and Catarina having set up shop and started taking vitals, Magnus started to calm down. Catarina had been the first person he thought to call; her medical knowledge of the human body, plus her magic and knowledge of the demon world made her the ideal physician and confidant in their situation. Plus, she had access to all that mundie medicine, if that's what Alec needed. And, she made house calls. At least, she would for Magnus.

Alec, on the other hand, had reached the wounded tiger stage of his illness. At this point, he was sick and tired of being sick and tired, but he was also uncomfortable with this near stranger poking and prodding him, and a little upset that Magnus had called her without telling him. Not that Alec would have listened, of course, but the sentiment was still lacking. Still, Catarina's calm and professional manner was starting to spread, if only because Alec was quickly becoming too weary to be obstinate.

"I'll need you to lift your shirt up, I'm going to feel your stomach to see if there's any… sensitivity," Catarina smirked to herself, putting away the blood pressure cuff ("What the hell does that do?"), and turned to look at her patient, pushing up her sleeves a little. "How is the nausea now?"

"Um, fine. I don't feel it. I'm kind of hungry though…" Alec trailed off. "And kind of not." He was sitting on the bed, still in pajama pants, though he had changed shirts. Hesitating for a moment, he stole a glance at Magnus, who was now gazing off in another direction. Alec could tell they were both thinking the same thing, but if Magnus was going to ignore it, so was he. The shadowhunter nodded to himself and lay back, hiking his shirt up to his ribcage, and closing his eyes.

While the nurse palpated his abdomen, Alec felt himself start to relax. He vaguely wondered if his mood swings were cause by him being so sick and exhausted, but quickly the thought slipped away from him. He yawned, about ready to doze off when he heard a metallic _clank_ and realized the hands on his stomach were gone. Opening one eye, the young shadowhunter peeked over to Catarina; back turned away from him, she was crouching over a black metal box on the ground.

"What's that?" Alec pushed himself up on his elbows and peered at the strange looking instrument she was fumbling with. Magnus was watching her as well, the frown on the other man's face causing Alec to worry.

"This is called an ultrasound, Alec. Mundane physicians use it to get a sort of picture of the internal organs. I'm going to have a look to see if there's anything in there to cause your sickness." Catarina spoke calmly, without looking at him, and Alec relaxed a little, brows furrowed.

"Oh. I thought Clary called them X-rays."

"X-rays are a little different, they're like a single picture. This will be more like a movie. And most X-ray machines aren't portable like this little ultrasound." She plugged the machine into the wall and turned on the screen, pulling out a wand and typing a few things on a small keyboard. "I want you to lean back again, flat—that's it, good—and I'm going to put a little of this blue stuff, it's just a gel, hun, not ichor!—there we go," she broke off, typing a little more and stretching the cord of the wand over near Alec's abdomen. "This is not going to hurt, Shadowhunter. Just try to lie still while I work on the picture."

Alec, who had flinched at the coolness of the gel, took a deep breath and relaxed, squeezing his eyes shut as the wand first touched his skin, but the warlock was right: it didn't hurt at all. He opened his eyes again and stared at the screen, but all he could see was black and fuzzy grey, moving much too quickly as Catarina moved the wand around his skin. Still avoiding looking at the swelling of his stomach, he settled his gaze on the face of the nurse as she stared intently at the screen.

Magnus, who had inched forward during the past two minutes and was now nearly sitting on top of Alec, was also staring at the screen, mildly frustrated by how long it was taking (a whole minute already). He, at least, knew one of the more common purposes of an ultrasound (from television, of course), and his muscles were becoming more tense as each moment passed by. The warlock knew what Catarina was looking for; he was looking for the same thing, though he had no idea what he'd do if he found it…

But there it was. Catarina's wand hand stopped, her shoulder muscles tensing almost imperceptibly, though the rest of her body remained calm and nonchalant. With her free hand, she reached down to the keyboard a typed a little, adjusting the screen and saving some of the images, moving the wand slightly. Magnus, however, was not as smooth. He suddenly realized he was holding his breath and let it all out at once, gasping for a second before trying to pull himself together. Catarina flinched, her eyes flicking up to the other warlock's cat eyes, then back to the screen. Magnus became stock still, but this exchange wasn't lost on the patient.

"What?" Alec looked up at his lover's face, blank with shock, eyes refusing to meet his. "Magnus? What is it? Catarina, tell me," he propped himself up again, trying to get the nurse to look at him.

"I'm not sure yet, hun, let me take a few more— "

"Tell me," Alec demanded, his voice suddenly much lower than his earlier hysterics. Even in his shock, Magnus though he sounded like his father. Robert, that was. Not Magnus' father. Speaking of fathers—

Catarina looked to her patient, gently but firmly pushing his shoulders back down to the mattress. "In a minute." She looked back to the screen, pointing the wand slightly downward, studying even closer. "Interesting." She straightened back up and motioned for Magnus to sit down next to Alec, which he did, as she repositioned the wand and turned the screen more towards the men.

"The good news is, Alec does not have any tumors or obstructions, and all of his organs appear to be in excellent condition," she started, finally making eye contact with Alec, which he suddenly found less than reassuring. "The other news—bad or good, I do not know—is that you were correct in your earlier assumptions. Alexander is indeed pregnant," she clarified, watching both men closely. "And, perhaps even more amazingly, the child is alive and well."

At this, Magnus looked up at her, his facial expression contorted in conflicting emotions: confusion, relief, wonder, worry, denial, frustration… it was all clearly expressed in his eyes, as it was in hers. Catarina, especially, had faced the knowledge that warlocks were sterile, and that even a miracle conception would end in a tragic stillbirth. Her eyes expressed equal amounts of wonder and confusion, though also a small amount of grief and surprised jealousy. Magnus didn't have the time to wonder how his fellow half-demon was feeling though. He was much more concerned with the trembling shadowhunter who had just grabbed his hand.

Alec was pale, his own face running a gambit of emotions as he took in this information. Doubt still crept at the edges of his mind, but now that Catarina had said it out loud, it suddenly seemed to be more fact than fiction. He gripped Magnus' hand in his own and pushed himself all the way into a sitting position, not caring when his shirt slipped down into the gel still smeared on his stomach.

"How?" It came out as a whisper, a interjection more than a question, as if this word would stop time long enough for the shadowhunter to wrap his mind around this. He shook his head, shivering, but asked it again, this time louder. "How can I be… pregnant? I'm a man, Catarina. Not a woman. No girl parts. You can check," he grumped, offering more out of shock than any true desire for her to check.

"Ah. This, I cannot tell you, shadowhunter. I can only present you with the knowledge of what has been causing your exhaustion and morning sickness—morning sickness it is, yes, and it will pass soon, you should be pleased to know. Actually, I can also give you this," she pointed at the screen, which they had forgotten after her announcement. Currently showing was a fuzzy, dark grey area, inside of which was a black circle, and another fuzzy grey blob. A blue finger tapped the inner blob. "This is proof of what you carry."

"That's…. what?" Alec squinted at the screen, incredulous.

"Your child. Right now it is still forming, so it does not look like a baby exactly. It is softer and more abstract, without the details. But that is a baby, a fetus, really, but it will be a baby. And it is alive." She looked at him thoughtfully. "I could possibly tell you more if we were to go to the hospital. Perhaps after visiting hours. You need time to think about this, anyway. I can't tell you much of anything now," she added, watching Alec's mouth open and close. "Clearly, Alexander, you are special. You do have a womb, at least. I don't know what else. But I'll help you find out when you've had time to process this."

Alec nodded, his mind racing. How could he be… could he even think the word? How could he be pregnant? Why did he have a…

"Womb?" He asked, foolishly. "Pregnant? Pregnant." He took a deep breath. "Pregnant." He looked over at Magnus, who had been watching him and listening. The male warlock's face was as blankly surprised as his own, but when their eyes connected, Alec felt a small calmness inside of him, inside of his whirling hurricane of questions and fears and doubts. The older man nodded.

"Pregnant."

_{Oh my goodness, it's been a while! I hope everyone remembers what this story's about! xP Sorry guys. I swear I have been working on this, I just wasn't sure what to include, what not to include. And wow, I know this was a long chapter! Was it a long chapter? It's certainly longer that the first two. I hope it didn't get too boring, though I know the middle was pretty detailed and slow. Sorry about that. Anyway, thanks for being so patient with me! Hope you enjoy! And as usual, leave me some comments in the reviews! How do you think Alec and Magnus are going to deal with this? And exactly how much angst vs. cuteness fluff would you like to see? Let me know! XO Em}_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Suspicions**

The sunlight streamed smokily through the half-opened curtains, and despite the air conditioning being on at full blast, the room was heating up to a comfortable-yet-sleepy temperature. Catarina had slipped into the living room to give the couple some time to process, leaving all her medical equipment where it was on the floor, and even Chairman Meow was avoiding the room. On the bed, the shadowhunter and his warlock lover had not moved, except for when Alec wiped the blue gel off of his abdomen.

As he did, he had been careful to be very gentle, much slower and softer than he would normally treat his skin, usually aiming for quick and efficient. His emotions were still far, far behind in their processing, but the rational, no, instinctual part of his brain said, _Be careful. Protect it. _Later, he would remember this day as a foggy, shocking blur, but this he remembered: the urge to protect it came more naturally to him than he realized. Later, he would remember looking at the swelling, foreign and unthinkable and strange, and not being disgusted. It was important that day.

By his side, Magnus was watching him with the sort of half-curiosity of a scientist studying some complex experiment who had been momentarily side-tracked by a life-sized dancing parakeet. It certainly wasn't the strangest thing he'd seen in his life, or even this week, but it was the more arresting. The warlock's black hair slipped from behind his ear and partially covered his golden eyes, narrowed and focused on his lover belly, but he made no movement to push it away. Alec wasn't sick. Alec was pregnant. The shadowhunter he had dared to love, dared to court, the man who had made Magnus want to settle down and have kids—_have kids_—was unexplainably pregnant. Pregnant, as a male, as the lover of a man of a sterile race, and yet the proof had been on the screen.

Hesitantly, Magnus scanned the screen for magic, and felt nothing. No black or white, curse or blessing, demonic or angelic presence was there, nor any remnant of such. The mundane screen was not lying. Almost as an afterthought, Magnus did a similar scan of his lover's abdomen, like he had done before they even called Catarina, and felt nothing. Nothing except for the shadowhunter's typical angelic traces, though now there was a slight concentration towards the lower bit, under the bump. Yes, he decided, that was there. It was only noticeable since he was looking for it, but it was there. It must be true. It had to be true. Catarina wouldn't lie either… And the jealousy in her eyes was convincing enough that she really believed what she said.

All of a sudden, Magnus leapt off the bed, reeling around to face the younger man, staring at him with new eyes. Alec jumped as well, staring at his lover with a still-bewildered expression. The shadowhunter's hands moved towards his stomach, then down to the bed, then to his lap. _He's nervous_, Magnus thought.

"How did this happen?" Magnus suddenly barked at him, the words coming out sharper than he meant them, but the intent was true.

"What? I don't know," Alec felt defensive, suddenly, looking in to Magnus' eyes. "I have no idea. I didn't even know I could get… Get pregnant." He glanced back down at his lap, then up, his face twisting in to frustration. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You didn't know you could get pregnant when you did what?" Magnus shot back. He was shaking now, his fists balled up by his sides. "When you cheated on me?"

At this, Alec made a sound halfway between a laugh and a gasp, choking the noise by stuffing his sleeve in his mouth. "When I _what?_"

"You heard me, nephilim. Who was it. Actually," he closed his eyes, fingers coming up to rub his temple. "Don't tell me. I don't care. I really don't." The fingers fell away and he shook his head.

"By the Angel, Magnus, you really think I cheated on you? What even gave you that idea?" Alec was pushing himself off the bed, shirt falling down to cover his stomach completely. Magnus stole a glance at it; you couldn't tell yet, not by what Alec normally would wear. He bitterly wondered what else the shadowhunter had hidden from his sight.

"In case you've forgotten, nephilim—" Alec flinched when he realized Magnus was refusing to say his name—"warlocks are sterile. We can't sire children. _I_ can't sire children. Whatever it is, it isn't mine. So neither are you."

When cats—even the small housecat—become irritated or mad or defensive, their pupils widen from slits to nearly-full circles inside of the irises. This allows them to see more sharply, take in more light, and either observe their opponent's slightest movements or find an escape. Right now, Magnus' pupils were full and frightening; and Alec backed away in shock and fear.

"You can't mean this… Magnus, I don't know how this happened but I never, could never—" Alec shook his head, at a loss. "Magnus, I _love_ you—"

"_Out,_" the warlock hissed, magically throwing open the door to the bedroom. Stung, and near hysterical, the shadowhunter turned and hurried out of the room, past Catarina, out of the apartment, leaving the livid half-demon panting angrily, staring at the sonogram frozen on the screen, alone.

Somehow, Alec made to the Institute by himself, though he had no memory of this. About halfway through his trip, his eyes had smarted and tears had obstructed his view. Refusing to wipe them away, they were still streaming silently down his face when he stepped out of the elevator on to the main floor. Izzy was the first one to find him, as he nearly barreled in to her in his rush down the hall.

"Alec!" Izzy chirped delightedly, throwing her arms around him. "It's so good to see you! Actually, it's so good to see _anyone_, mom's on another trip and Jace and Clary have been with Jocelyn and Luke most of the time, can you believe I've been here all by myself? It's SO boring, and we haven't had many demon sightings—as you know, because I haven't called you—but I'm bored out of my mind just re-polishing all of the weapons, you know, so—" She froze, then pulled back from the embrace when she noticed Alec's stiff posture and looked at his face, wet with salty tears and screwed up as if in pain. "Alec, what—?"

The shadowhunter began to sob, each one racking his skinnier-than-even frame. Shaking his head, he let his concerned sister lead him into her room and threw himself onto her bed, working to reduce his crying to sniffles. Isabelle searched his face with her deep brown eyes, hovering near him, unsure of what to do.

"Alec?" Isabelle's voice came softly, so full of concern that Alec nearly relapsed in to tears. He swallowed and looked up at her.

"He thinks I cheated on him."

"Magnus does? He thinks… what? Why?!" Alec closed his eyes again as Isabelle's voice squeaked higher. "How could he even think that? You LOVE him, you wouldn't do anything like that." She looked down at her older brother, who still had his eyes closed. "Would you?"

"No! God, Izzy… no," Alec shook his head, shivering with nerves. "I just… No, I didn't. I couldn't. Never." He opened his eyes and stared wearily at the floor. His next word came out as a whisper.

"Never."

Isabelle looked at the sag in her brother's shoulders and the exhausted look on his face and pushed him gently down on the bed. Alec obeyed, turning on his side towards the wall, and Izzy lay down next to him, watching her brother drift into a fitful sleep. It had been a long time since they'd laid in the same bed—more than ten years, but it used to be a common occurrence when they were little, especially when their parents would fight. Back then, Izzy was the one crying, out of fear or frustration. Alec would hear his parent's voices rise and immediately go to his sister to calm her oncoming worries, staying up with her until they both passed out on her bed.

Lying down now, Alec recalled those nights, colored black with the anger in the air. As he drifted off to sleep, he suddenly felt bad for his and Izzy's children selves, wondering if that's what life would be like for his child…

"I think I need not remind you that stress is bad for both mother and child." Catarina was looking out the window over the buildings of the neighborhood when she heard Magnus come in to the kitchen. He felt his body stiffen, jaw aching from clenched anger.

"Don't care. Not my child." The warlock paused where he was, pent-up frustration burning in his forearms. He felt fidgety and sullen, and his head was pounding as his heart had been when he watched the love of his life leave—maybe forever—and that angered him even more. What right did Alec have to give him a headache? What right did someone else have to give him a child? They were supposed to go find one, together, a joint effort. Now Alec, by some miracle or magic, had what Magnus had wanted and would never have, could never have… and Magnus was completely left out.

Catarina remained at the window, musing silently. Magnus threw himself into a chair and caught his reflection in the oven window: his hair was a wreck, unwashed and limp and messy, and there were circle under his eyes. He shuddered looking at himself, then noticed that his eyes held the same exhaustion and frustration that Alec's had… though Alec's had been worse. And at least Magnus' slender figure wasn't approaching emaciation… _Cut it out, Bane_, he chided himself._ Alec isn't worth the worry. Worry about your own problems._

He was lying to himself. Catarina turned to him finally, regarding him with a measured expression. The dark blue of her skin and eyes seemed to deepen as she spoke, though Magnus wondered if that was just the light.

"I think the child is yours, Bane." He scowled, but she held his gaze, unabashed. "I am amazed that you will believe me when I say to you that your human male lover carries a child, but not said lover when he professes to love and be faithful to you."

"We've had… trust issues in the past." Magnus winced, remembering the problems with Camille and the question of immortality."It almost ended us."

"But it didn't. So now this will?" Catarina shook her head. "I agree, it is confusing and amazing, but you know Tessa Gray. It is not impossible—"

"There was a lot of magic involved in that. I never planned this. I had nothing to do with it! I didn't know whether A— whether he had the right organs for this." Magnus threw his hands into the air, still incredulous about the whole "womb" thing.

"If this child is yours, Magnus, and I believe it is, you've been blessed in a way our kind rarely are. Don't mess it up, and lose both of them. Fix this," Catarina summoned her medical equipment from the other room and picked it up. "And for the sake of Alec and the child, don't take too long.

_{Since no one asked for either lovey-fluff or angst I went with angst. And don't worry everyone, I *do* have explanations for both Alec's womb and piping, and Magnus' non-sterility! That's partially why I waited on chapter three for so long- I needed to make sure I knew where to go. Anyway, hope you all enjoy! Leave me some reviews! Leave me some suggestions! XO Em}_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Uncertainty**

Alec spent a week at the institute, sometimes either laying in his room, trying not to think, or practicing in the weapons room. Mostly, he was sleeping; the early signs of pregnancy fatigue and what combat training he could manage tired his body. Carrying around his secret wearied his mind.

For a secret it was, and would stay. Constantly in the back of his mind, Alec tried desperately to hide it from others as well as himself. This was surprisingly easy, now that the nausea was mostly in the early mornings, and went away after about an hour of retching. He'd gotten in to a routine of eating the larger meal around noon, with a small, bland breakfast as soon as he could manage, and an even smaller supper, so that'd he'd be losing less in the morning. His stomach would rebel against him for agonizing minutes, and then he would crawl back into bed, asleep before he could pull the blankets back up. Invariably he would wake up shivering; the empty cold of the Institute creeping into his room and his dreams.

Maryse was more often gone than not: Alec had _completely_ missed her the one day she was home. He would find out later that Isabelle, sensing her brother's weak emotional state ("Thanks, Izzy," he'd say, rolling his eyes), hadn't even mentioned to her that he was in the building. Alec, though his relationship with his mother was fairly stable, had been relieved. He couldn't imagine telling his mother his diagnosis any more than he could imagine kissing the Seelie Queen.

He saw Jace and Clary exactly once: when he had fallen asleep on the floor of the training room. He'd been practicing the finer points of quick-aiming archery when his dizziness had gotten the best of him. The shadowhunter had taken a break that quickly turned in to a nap, waking only when his adoptive brother had loudly barged into the room.

"Hey," Jace's eyes betrayed the golden boys surprise, emotions reading more clearly on his face now that he could acknowledge he had feelings more openly. "Alec. What's up?"

Jolted awake, Alec scrambled up into a standing position, defensively holding his bow and quiver in front of his abdomen. Jace wasn't the most… observant of minds when it came to other people, but he wasn't oblivious, and Clary certainly wasn't either. One of the things Alec had found most annoying (but really, unnerving) about the girl was the way her eyes took in details. When Clary looked at people, she _really saw_ them. Alec had been defensive and uncomfortable under her gaze, but eventually he realized her artist's eye wasn't judging, just curious. Now, however, he felt his old discomfiture resurface, and that made him crabby.

"Nothing," he shot at the pair, scowling and turning away. "Just finished practicing." He started for the door, internally chiding himself for the odd behavior. "Have fun, guys," he managed to say in a slightly more relaxed tone, shuffling out the door, weapons pressed against his stomach.

Behind him, Clary looked at Jace with a frown. "He looks exhausted. And he's lost some weight. Do you think he and Magnus really broke up?" But Jace could only shrug, his eyes still on the door his _parabatai_ had just escaped through.

"Guys, I told you, I really don't know what's going on between them," Isabelle sighed as she looked at Jace and Clary across the table at Taki's. Simon was next to her, listening silently to the debate.

"You must know something," Clary looked at her friend over her coconut pancakes. "You don't have to tell us any secrets. We just want to know if we can help."

Isabelle squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to stay calm. Her worries about Alec had been pressing on her, too, but for all her trying, she couldn't get her brother to open up, and Magnus wasn't responding to her texts. Normally she'd be more forceful, and _make_ one of the guys tell her _something_, but Alec looked so unhealthy that she hesitated to even talk to him unless he had voluntarily left his room.

"All I know is that Magnus accused Alec of cheating on him. And Alec says he didn't. And I know he didn't, god, he could never do that. But Magnus thinks he did and now Alec is a wreck," Isabelle paused, looking at her smoothie mournfully. "I have to talk to him." Her eyes met Jace's, who nodded.

"I'll help."

"Well," Clary and Simon exchanged their own looks. Each was still unsure of their standing with the eldest Lightwood, and it was obvious they would not be needed for the next few hours. "InuYasha is on disk at the library," Simon offered, and he and Clary left, leaving Jace and Izzy to flip for who had to go first.

By Jace's luck, it was Isabelle who knocked on Alec's bedroom door half an hour later, while he stood silently down the hall. Alec, who had been trying and failing miserably to keep his mind off of his (ex?) lover, rolled over towards the door, sitting up and hunching over slightly to conceal any curves behind his over-loose shirt and called for his sister to come in.

The door creaked open slowly and Isabelle's brown eyes peeked in, followed by the rest of her body, moving gracefully and cautiously into the room.

"How'd you know it was me?"

Alec shrugged; he didn't want to admit that he was overly aware of any and all sounds outside of the room, lest someone catch him by surprise and learn something they shouldn't.

"Lucky guess." He shrugged, still hunched over. "What's up, Iz?"

Isabelle looked at him briefly, then looked towards the wall, worried about what she had to say. "We're—I'm worried about you," she started, anxiously twisting the hem of her shirt between her fingers. "You've been cooped up in here for days and you won't talk to anyone, Alec. You need to get out of here."

"Don't tell me what I need, Isabelle," Alec snapped, quickly getting up and heading to the window, barely keeping from trembling with weakness and stress. "You have no idea—"

"You're right, I don't!" Isabelle shot back. "So why don't you just _tell _me what's going on, and I can try to help you."

"You can't!" Alec whirled around to face her, his skin drained of color. "I'm a freak, Isabelle! I'm contaminated, or something! I can't be fixed. And the _one_ person who could help me, the _one_ person I need right now, is… thinks…" He shook his head, leaning back against the wall. Isabelle suddenly noticed with alarm that he was shaking. The shadowhunter rushed forward to catch her older brother as he sank to the ground, unconscious.

_{Leave some reviews! I promise we'll get to the big reveal in the next chapter... at least, it's a revelation to SOMEBODY. Thanks for reading, XO Em}_


	6. Chapter 6

Alec blinked slowly, his eyes adjusting much slower than his mind to the bright light above him. He immediately knew he was in an infirmary bed, and instantly his mind flew back to the last time he woke up in the infirmary, a pair of beautiful, catlike eyes peering down at him…

"Alec?" It was not Magnus. Why wasn't Magnus here? He turned to look towards the voice, noticing the shock of glossy dark hair.

"Mo-…. Izzy." Alec caught himself, the memory of earlier this afternoon coming back to him. By the Angel, had he actually fainted? Just another brilliant thing to add to the list of why he wasn't the perfect Shadowhunter.

"And Jace," a deeper voice broke in from the other side of his bed, Jace clearly not wanting to be forgotten. "I helped Izzy carry you in here. Not," he added, quickly, "that she couldn't have done it herself. I was just around."

Cursing himself internally, Alec started to push himself up on his elbows, moving to get out of bed, but both Isabelle and Jace reached out to push him back down.

"Just a minute," Jace looked at his adoptive brother, his _parabatai_, with an exceedingly serious expression, any hint of pride or playfulness gone. "You need to start talking."

Alec gave him a look that he hoped would convey the ridiculousness of that idea, but Izzy chimed in as well.

"Alec, we're _worried_ about you. First you move home, and you don't tell anyone why, and then you barely come out of your room, and then you _collapse_ on us. I know you and Magnus had a fight, but it looks like you're barely eating, and Clary thought she heard you throwing up the other day—"

Alec shut his eyes; this was too much. He couldn't even muster a half-hearted dig at Clary's nosiness, much less break in to Izzy's stream of worries with an explanation.

Really, he wanted to tell her. He even kind of wanted to tell Jace, though he could not imagine the reaction from either one of them. But somehow, he felt as though telling them would make his secret easier to bear, lighter. Right now it weighed on Alec's mind so heavily that he could hardly breathe.

"I mean, I can't tell if you're love sick or really sick but either way you have to open up so we can help you. If Magnus has done something, I'll fix it myself, Alec, I swear—"

"I'll tell you."

"But I don't know what to do if you keep hiding from us, we're your family—"

"Izzy," Jace said, still looking at Alec. "Shut up."

Isabelle glanced at Jace, then back at Alec as she realized what he'd said. The eldest Lightwood looked straight ahead, not trusting himself to look at either of them.

"I'll tell you, but," he paused, swallowing in an attempt to settle his churning stomach, "you have to listen and not, like, flip. Especially you, Izzy."

Isabelle tore her eyes from her older brother to give Jace a look, then nodded. "Whatever you want."

The air in the room suddenly felt heavy, and everything in his body screamed at him to make something up, to say it was nothing, to _lie_. He'd spent so much of his life hiding who he really was, lying to his family, pretending absolutely nothing was wrong. He was good at it. He was good at the lies. But he was tired.

He swallowed again, his eyes sliding closed so he couldn't see their reactions, couldn't see the room he was in, as if by closing his eyes he was no longer stuck in the Institute, no longer trapped and cornered. His heart was pounding like he was face-to-face with a Greater Demon, but those didn't make him want to run away. Those, he'd fight, and that's what he had to do now.

"I'm pregnant."

The words sounded disjointed, unreal, and foreign, like it might sound if he'd said he was a tree or a spaceship. They sounded so impossible and untrue and yet they were.

The room stayed quiet for several long moments, during which Alec kept his eyes closed tight, until he almost wondered if he'd imagined the whole thing and was waking up from a nap. He finally let out the breath he'd been holding and opened his eyes, only to see equal amounts of confusion and disbelief on his siblings' faces.

It was Izzy who spoke first, of course.

"Pregnant?" Worry washed over her features, her eyes narrowing , flickering down to Alec's covered midsection, then back up to his face. She took a deep breath. "Alec, that's not… men can't be… you can't have children, Alec. It doesn't work that way."

"Even _I_ knew that, man, and you know I never paid attention to Hodge." Jace had recovered, leaning back and shaking his head, his golden hair falling in to his eyes, which had become unreadable. The shadowhunter knew it was impossible, but the way his _parabatai_ had said it, he almost believed him…

"Well, apparently it works that way for me, Izzy!" Alec scowled, his face turning bright red. He knew it was hard to believe—he barely believed it himself—but he suddenly felt defensive. What possible reason could he have for making something this ridiculous up? Why would he say something so silly sounding and make himself look like an idiot if it wasn't _true_? "We—we had someone come check. A warlock, a friend of Magnus' who works at a mundie hospital or whatever. She brought this… machine that is used to look at the… to look inside people."

"What? An x-ray?" Jace asked, his facial expression a mixture of bewilderment and hesitation. Jace's eyes slid to meet his sister's again. How reliable _was_ mundane healing equipment? How well could someone see inside? What little he had learned from Clary didn't exactly cover x-rays or pregnancy or anything like that. Isabelle had the same thought. On the other hand, if they had been desperate enough to use mundane machines to figure it out, and share something like this with another warlock…

Alec nodded. "Something kind of like that. She said it's true…" He trailed off, looking down. "I don't know how, but…." He swallowed, unsure as to whether he should actually do what he planned to do next. But he had to get his point across. He shut his eyes again, taking a deep breath before sliding back down to be horizontal on the bed. The shadowhunter unclenched his trembling fingers from each other and curled them around the hem of his loose t-shirt, pulling it up to wrinkle around his chest. He peered down, looking at the round swelling of his abdomen. At nearly three months along by now, there was clearly an unmistakable bump, though small, that looked all at once alien to Alec's male form, but also strangely natural.

Izzy squeaked.

_{{Suddenly the font is much larger in doc manager. Not sure if that will be reflected in my post. Anyway, sorry for the hiatus, but things got really busy with school and work. I'm on break now, so I promise to buckle down and crank out some stories! Let me know if this chapter was too slow or dialogue heavy, I wrote it in bits... I had to go back and re-read some of the story! Hahah. XO, Em}}_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Six:

The phone buzzed shortly, in the most annoying pattern and pitch conceivable, and a pair of yellow cat eyes glared at it, considering whether to make it burst in to flames purely out of frustration.

No, the warlock (for he was the owner of the cat eyes, the actual cat not being in present company) decided. He didn't want to waste the energy. Instead he stayed right where he was, draped over the couch with his arms crossed firmly atop his chest.

Magnus had spent the past week in a funk. He had a terribly short temper, he was constantly distracted, he answered the phone by barking "Not today, Satan!" into the receiver before rudely hanging up. Chairman Meow even ran away (thought the cat kept tabs on the apartment just in case Alec came home to pet him). In truth, the warlock really wanted to act cool and indifferent and blasé about the whole thing; he wanted so badly to stop caring, caring about how Alec had cheated on him, caring about the baby, caring about how Alec was feeling. His pride had been hurt so badly, and this time, he didn't want to forgive. This time, he didn't want to be the older and wiser and more mature one, he didn't want to be the bigger person. He wanted to sulk like he had never wanted to sulk before, and when he was done, he planned on trashing the house. For now, he was too depressed to even crumple a newspaper.

He had, however, covered any and all photos of him and Alec and magicked all of Alec's things into a storeroom. When he was feeling really spiteful, he thought about sending it all to the doorstep of the institute, but every time he thought it, he felt too ashamed to do such a thing. Magnus was hurt, yes, and he was angry. But a large part of him hoped this whole mess would magically (hahah) disappear, and Alec would be back, and he could look at the photos and memories and Alec's beautiful face again. Too bad that would never happen.

The reality was, Magnus was disappointed. He knew that one of the things Alec had always secretly wanted was a family. Once, while they were confessing some of their deepest, darkest feelings, Alec had told the warlock that before they'd met, Alec planned to marry a shadowhunter girl, one he could at least be friends with, just so he could start a family. Alec had always secretly loved children, loved protecting his younger siblings, loved seeing people's adorable babies. He didn't talk about it much to other people, or show how cute he thought kids were, because he didn't want his softness to reveal his sexual orientation, and after he was out, he didn't want to be seen as a pervert. Magnus, on the other hand, had not spent many of his hundreds of years thinking about children or a family. Other people's kids were bratty and annoying, and eternity is a long time to settle down for, so why even think about it?

That is, until he met Alec. Alec made the High Warlock of Brooklyn want to settle down, want to think about eternity, and (he had to admit) had made him want kids. They had even talked a little about adopting, as that was of course their only option. And now, someone else had given Alec what he truly wanted. Magnus had failed.

Anger, at himself, and confusion, at how it had been managed, flared in his chest. Magnus had friends in some pretty high places, but he'd never heard so much as a whisper about male pregnancies or wombs. And Magnus had heard a lot of whispers in his time (the whispers, like the stories, were all true). Worry followed the other two emotions; Magnus knew a lot about magic, and whatever had lead to Alec… _having a womb_ had to be incredibly powerful. That kind of spell work didn't happen without someone incredibly powerful to back it up. So… what demon knocked up his boyfriend?!

Magnus shook his head at himself disgustedly. Not his problem. He had already spent too much effort caring about and forgiving Alec the LAST time the shadowhunter had gone behind his back to meddle with demon magic, back when Alec had tried teaming up with Camille. The thought of that time made Magnus want to throw up or zap something to pieces.

He almost got the chance to zap something when the front door to the apartment suddenly opened, and a flurry of white and blue entered. Catarina's eyes narrowed, seeing how Magnus' fingers were itching to send sparks in her direction, and she held up her hand as if to calm her friend. Magnus, deciding again not to waste his energy, glared but relaxed his tensed-up arms. He was just about to tell her to go visit her demon parent in—

"You look like a drunk bum." The female warlock gave him a smirk as he flared with anger, but she moved to sit down on the armchair anyway. Surveying the room, it was evident that Magnus hadn't been outside in several days, and he had clearly been too, uh, preoccupied to do much cleaning. The normally homey apartment was now filled with empty coffee cups that Magnus had been too lazy to send to the garbage, and his clothes were wrinkled. He hadn't even done his hair, besides washing it once or twice. It hung limply around his head like it had a week ago, when he'd neglected it due to his worry about Alec.

"Loss, if I didn't answer your text messages, I don't see how that's an invitation to break in to my home."

"I did not break in. The door was unlocked. Clearly, you didn't lock it after your lover tore out of here a week ago, crying." She made a _tck_ing sound and shook her head. "And I did not text you. I've been working. Perhaps it was a client. I only stopped by to mention that Alec—"

The cell phone on the coffee table buzzed again, and this time Magnus didn't have time to think before he snatched it up from the table, intent on answering the text message with a stream of curses in both English and Greater Demon. He nearly broke the phone attempting to type the message, until his eyes caught the words on the screen. It was Isabelle Lightwood.

"_Alec passed out. Pls come quick or send warlock doctor frnd._"

Magnus' heart skipped a beat at precisely the same time his stomach dropped out of his body, which was an interesting sensation, though certainly not the strangest one he'd ever felt. He swallowed, and looked up at his friend, who had her eyebrows raise.

"Come with me.

It was Jace that Magnus and Catarina met at the front gate of the Institute. Normally, the golden-haired shadowhunter would have cracked a joke or given one of his "dazzling" smiles, as he had once heard Clary call them. Today, however, the only glance he gave Magnus was a glare, and he barely nodded to the warlock woman before turning on his heel and heading inside. Magnus clenched his jaw, but followed, while Catarina rolled her eyes, falling in line behind her friend. When they got inside, Catarina asked what had happened.

"Well," Jace started, turning back to look at her. "It was a little while ago. Unfortunately we had to use the only means of communication we could think of, and they didn't work very well," he stated, referring to Magnus with thinly-veiled anger. Jace then refocused himself on Catarina, ignoring the distasteful look from the other warlock as he continued with a more respectful, if cool, tone. "Izzy was trying to ask him what's been wrong, and he got upset and collapsed. We got him into an infirmary bed and then sent the message. He's awake now, and he told us what was wrong."

They'd just arrived at the door to the room that Alec was in with Isabelle, and Jace came to a stop before spinning around leaning in to speak in a much lower volume. His golden eyes flickered over Magnus', intent on ignoring the warlock man in order to keep his cool, and settled on Cat's blue ones.

"Look. He told us _what your diagnosis was_. And he really believes what he's saying. Izzy and I would try to convince him otherwise, but.." a hand raked through his curly hair, indicating how on edge the young man really was. "He's really upset. He's not well. And I don't know how much more he can take." Again, his eyes flickered to Magnus before he continued, his voice even softer, though more intense. "I don't want to embarrass him. God knows what the Clave would do to him if they found out what he thinks he knows, what you're telling him. He'd be mortified, and possibly in danger. So Angel help me if this is some grand Downworlder trick and the two of you let it go any further…"

"It's not," Catarina said, just as softly as Jace, but with a gentleness to her voice. Her eyes slid to Magnus, who was glaring down at the floor, privately worried about the Clave coming after Alec. She turned to Jace. "I used mundane technology to check. It's surprisingly accurate. But even more accurate than that… There's a magic there, inside of him. A barest whisper, but I can feel it. Magnus can too."

At this, Magnus looked up, surprised, and caught Jace's inquisitive expression. The warlock had forgotten about the small bit of magical energy he'd felt emanating from his lover's abdomen, but his friend was right. There had been something there. And it hadn't felt evil…

Echoing his thoughts, Catarina continued. "I cannot feel any dangerous energies, though I did not have much time to inspect. Alec does not appear to be in danger. But if he is sick, I should see him." And with that, she sidestepped Jace and pushed her way in to the room, medical bag in tow.

Not wanting to deal with the impetuous golden boy, Magnus started to follow suit, forgetting momentarily that he'd been set on avoiding Alec, but Jace reached out to stop him. "Wait," he started, and, ignoring the glare from the warlock, pulled Magnus away from the door. As Cat closed the door behind her Jace turned to look Magnus full in the eye. Suddenly, the younger man's facial expression was harder to read.

"You did this." Jace's voice was not questioning, but Magnus shook his head in answer anyway.

"No. I don't know how this happened."

"Then someone else made him this way. And you don't give a shit who would do something like this to someone you say you love?" Jace leaned back, disgust creeping across his face. "I'm starting to wish Alec had never met you."

Magnus was just about to reply that he felt the same way about Jace when Isabelle poked her head out of the room. "Jace," she said, urgently. "Come here." Forgetting their quarrel, both shadowhunter and warlock stepped in to the room, where Catarina had once again set up her ultrasound and was perched on the bed, to one side of Alec. Isabelle was on his other side, gripping his hand… but for who's reassurance, it was impossible to tell. Alec couldn't help but think she was taking this surprisingly well. Of course, Jace was too hard to read; after the first moment, Alec's adopted brother had avoided looking directly at Alec's abdomen or eyes.

Magnus, however, now could not take his eyes off of Alec, who was so focused on Catarina that he hadn't even noticed the two come in. The warlock immediately noticed the swell of his lover's stomach, more noticeable now than it had even been a week ago. His heart sank slowly when he realized it was because the shadowhunter had lost more weight, and this time, he wasn't even upset at himself for caring. It was much easier to wallow in his own pain and grief when he wasn't face with the obvious struggles of someone who, deep down, he really did love. Pushing his anger and resentment aside, but also restraining himself from reaching out to comfort Alec, Magnus waited silently in the corner for the ultrasound to continue, listening as Catarina gave reassuring but firm advice.

"… the light-headedness will continue, but as long as you remain hydrated and nourished, you will have a better chance of controlling it. You must also be careful not to become too emotional, which will be a difficult task as your hormones begin to change to accommodate the child—" here, Magnus saw Jace flinch out of the corner of his eye—"but you really must take precautions to protect the health of the both of you. You may also find that it helps to sit or stand up more slowly…"

By this time, the ultrasound was up and working, and the gray and black blobs began to look familiar to Alec and Magnus as Catarina pressed the wand to Alec's rounded flesh. Suddenly, she paused and gestured towards the screen, urging her companions to look with a soft, "there." Isabelle squeaked again, and Jace couldn't help but mutter, "By the Angel…" The noise from behind him caused Alec to turn around, a guarded expression on his face, which only deepened once he saw that Magnus was there, too. The warlock's breath caught in his throat, guilt rising to the surface of his mind as he watched his lover promptly turn back to the screen. Oh, how Magnus wished with all he had that he knew what was going on, how he wished that this baby could really belong to him and Alec.

"Everything looks quite fine from here. You appear to be approximately three months along, but as I said a week ago, I will know more by bringing you to the clinic, after hours of course. You look physically better at the moment, but I would like to check your vitals—that is, your heart rate and blood pressure—once more before I leave, just as a precaution." She looked from him to the other inhabitants around the room. "I will now step outside the room to allow you to talk, but I can leave these…" she pulled out a few photo copies of the previous ultrasound, "here for you to look at."

She turned off the screen and shoved some her equipment back into her bag, leaving the bag on the chair as she glided out of the room, followed quickly by Jace. Isabelle turned to Alec.

"Wow," she said, softly. Alec nodded, once, wiping the ultrasound gel off his stomach with the corner of the bed sheet.

"Yeah," he murmured, looking back at her before turning around to look at Magnus. Noticing his glance, Isabelle squeezed his hand and stood up, vaguely mentioning that she'd be right outside as she walked out the door. Magnus and Alec were finally alone.

_{{Well, time for our heroes to confront their issues… I, personally, am very happy to have Magnus back, though I wonder what exactly he'll have to say for himself. He better be nice though… Oh, and never fear, the larger plot is coming together, and I DO have fairly decent explanations. Thanks for sticking with me! XO, Em}}_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Fears**

Tension hung in the air in Alec's slightly-chilly infirmary room. After everyone else had left, Alec had gone straight back to wiping the blue ultrasound gel off of his stomach, turning away from Magnus to hide the slight roundness of his stomach, nitpicking about making sure his skin was completely clean so he could avoid turning back around. When he couldn't pretend to be cleaning off any longer, he let his shirt fall back down to cover his abdomen, but didn't turn. Was he supposed to? Why was Magnus even still here? Alec could think of plenty of things to say, but he really wasn't sure he could face any more accusations of cheating. Magnus, on the other hand, couldn't think of anything to say, so as the silence stretched on, Alec eventually stood up, turning around to face his first and only lover from behind the safety of the bed.

"Why did you come?" The words fell out of Alec's mouth without any emotion: no anger, no resentment, no curiosity, not even sadness. Magnus dropped his eyes as if to follow the tumbling of Alec's words on to the bed where they lay between them like an open wound. What was Magnus going to say? That Isabelle texted? That he had been worried? Those were both true, but they didn't really answer what Alec was asking.

Really, Alec wanted to know why Magnus had kicked him out, why Magnus hadn't come before, why did he wait until now? And the warlock wasn't sure how to answer that, because he didn't exactly know why himself. Every logical part of his brain (and he did have one, despite everything) told him that there was no way this… this baby was his. _If it really is a baby_, he thought, and that right there, he realized, was why he was back. Because despite the logic telling him that warlocks were sterile, and men couldn't carry children, here they were, with a mundane's machine photo to prove what Magnus' magic could feel and Alec's body was showing. So maybe his logic was off—maybe logic shouldn't rule his emotions—maybe he should focus more on his worry about Alec.

Why did Magnus come? He looked up from the bed to Alec, to his slender blue-eyed-and-black-haired beauty, noticing yet again how stress and sickness had taken their toll on his mental and physical health.

"Because I'm sorry."

Out in the hall, Jace considered renewing his threat to Catarina, that if she was making this up, or if she had taken part in concocting this story or making Alec sick, she would regret it, but he hesitated. The idea of trusting this warlock was one thing, as Jace had grown to trust Magnus and Luke over the past few years, but trusting mundane technology was quite another. Besides, it wasn't like the x-tra-sound or whatever would pick up demonic energies. For that he had to rely on Catarina's word, and hers and Magnus' ability to sense whatever energy and magic was messing with Alec… and Jace didn't like it. Why leave his best friend's health, his brother's _life_, up to someone else's word?

Jace walked off wordlessly, shoulder muscles clearly tense, leaving Isabelle and Catarina standing outside the infirmary room. Catarina stood, silent and almost unnaturally still, deep in thought, which only added to Isabelle's discomfort. She itched to text Simon, to tell him the news, to share it with _somebody_, but would they even believe her? She barely believed it herself.

"How exactly does Alec have the… room… for a baby?" Isabelle demanded, turning to the warlock nurse.

The white-haired woman looked at her coolly. "I can't tell you _how_ your brother happens to have within him a viable womb, but I can assure you, it's there. The pregnancy is not ectopic, that is," she added, seeing Isabelle's mystified gaze, "the fetus, the baby, is growing within a real womb, and not attached to a different organ, which sometimes happens and can be very dangerous to both mother and child."

Isabelle flinched at the word "mother". Of course, that's what Alec is now. How… weird. Though Isabelle was surprised to find that she felt no disgust towards the situation, it still had a very alien feel to it. Alec was not only pregnant, but he apparently had the right organs for it. The shadowhunter furrowed her brow in thought.

"Has… has he always had the right parts? To have a baby, I mean," she asked, looking back up at her companion. "Can you tell? I mean, was he born with them, or were they put there?"

Catarina was quiet for a moment, considering. "I could see no indication that the organs themselves had magical origins. If your brother has not had surgery to place them there, my best guess would be that he was born with them. Why, I don't know." She sighed, then look Isabelle in the eye, blue eyes meeting the shadowhunter's dark brown ones.

"I won't lie and say that this is completely natural and you shouldn't worry. I have been around for a long time and seen many things, but never this. I don't know what will happen or whether it will be perfectly safe—no pregnancy is without risks, but at this point, we don't know if Alec has all the appropriate organs to support a child. As I have said, we will know more once I can do a thorough check. What I do know," she continued, looking from Isabelle to the hallway Jace had stalked down, and back to the girl, "is that we must keep your brother calm to keep him safe."

"I'm sorry, Alec," Magnus repeated, the warlock's chest tightening as he realized the full weight of the situation, of his emotions. He glanced up at the shadowhunter before looking away. "I'm so sorry."

Alec stiffened, his own body stiff from exhaustion, an arm reaching out to grasp the bed post as he leaned sideways. In the time that he'd known Magnus, he'd rarely seen the man apologize; now that it was directed at him, he didn't know how to handle it. The past few weeks had been excruciating, first hiding his sickness from Magnus, then hiding from the entire world. He'd started to feel fragile, like he might break or explode if someone got too close, like his bones were as brittle as his emotions… and now, seeing Magnus, he wasn't sure they wouldn't.

"When I…" the warlock started, his eyes closed, "when my parents realized what I was, when I saw my eyes had changed, when they told me _what I am_, I felt as if someone had ripped away who I was and replaced them with a monster, but the monster was me. I had the same thoughts and memories, but I knew I was different, alien, and my parents—my mother and step father—I knew they saw the monster. Not the little boy she sang to at night or that he taught to fish. Who I had been was a lie, and who I was now was an abomination." Magnus open his eyes, his face pleading with Alec to understand, to forgive him.

"That's how I felt," Alec whispered, his gaze lowering, though his body remained still. Magnus nodded, swallowing. The warlock had seen his own identity ripped from him, replaced with something alien, and then to see Alec change… It had scared him. More than anything, he couldn't go through losing the most important person in his life again.

"I know, Alec. But you shouldn't." Magnus watched the shadowhunter looked up, his blue eyes—the ones Magnus loved—meeting his own gaze. "You're still Alec. And I know that, and I'm sorry I was afraid. That was my fault, not yours. But you're still Alec, my beautiful, shadowhunter love." He paused, watching his lover carefully, as Alec had barely moved. With two slow, deliberate paces, Magnus was in front of the younger man, his palms face-up in front of him as he repeated, "I'm so sorry, Alec."


End file.
